Most busy women don’t take care of themselves in as much as they take care of others…
Not a day goes by where I don’t find myself asking clients “So how are you taking care of yourself during this time? What are you doing to support yourself?” Sometimes I get a blank stare, sometimes a confused look paired with “what do you mean?” Other times I get “I don’t have time for me.” It is rare that the response is “Well, I set aside time every day to make sure that my needs are meet, I ensure that I do things that I enjoy daily. I make time for my health, my family, my friends and my work (and in that order).” In fact not only is that answer rare, but I don’t think I have ever heard it.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care or self-nurturing is about taking active steps to ensure you have a healthy mind and a healthy body and that those around you have the same rights to be healthy.
When you take care of yourself, it is so you can be the best you can be for yourself, and so you can support those around you to be the best they can be. Now sometimes you confuse self-care with selfishness, which is not the case at all. Being selfish, on the other hand, is about putting your wants and needs above the needs of those around you and dismissing the rights of others if it means getting your needs meet.
Self-care is not always one of your strong points, yet there is a reason the airline emergency information says, “Please fit your own mask before helping others.” That is because it is as important to take care of yourself, as it is to take care of other people. Yet often you find yourself last on the list of priorities after partners, family, friends, bosses, pets and sometimes-even neighbors! Although the reality is that if you don’t take care of yourself then no one else will.
Why Do Busy Women Fail to Take Care of Themselves?
One of the most common reasons I hear from women not taking care of themselves is that of not having time, and this is a valid reason. I would argue that it is not that you do not have enough time, but rather that you do not prioritize yourself in the time that you do have. Sure, you have commitments, but imagine how much more efficiently you would be in completing those duties if you are the best you can possibly be?
Self-care does not always have to be about taking time out (although having a massage, reading a book or spending some time journaling are great ways to self-nurture). Self-care can be as simple as self-compassion and this doesn’t take any extra time- just extra awareness.
Have you noticed that when you make a mistake your critical mind jumps in with “well that was stupid” then the residents of “Shouldville” start chiming in “you should have done that better, you should have known it was going to turn out that way.” Now on the odd occasion listening to your critical mind can be helpful as it leads to self-improvement. However, 99% of the time when you get caught listening to your critical self you end up feeling pretty crappy and you make no changes towards anything, let alone self-improvement. Self-nurture can be as simple as saying “ok well it is done no point beating myself up” or “Ah that’s the residents of Shouldville again- is it helpful for me to listen to them right now?” Practicing self-compassion is a simple and effective step that can lead to great benefits.
10 Top Tips for Self-Care Every Busy Woman Needs
There are simple things you can do to start practicing self-care. Here are ten top tips to keep you guided:
This Is What You Can Do Next
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