Taking just a couple of hours each week for yourself could make you much healthier, happier and able to love those around you even more…
The one thing I see in my clinic every day – more than anything else – is stressed-out women. They are constantly struggling to manage their families, work, relationships, finances, and homes. I feel for them because this stress is really affecting their health – and their relationships – and their own happiness and joy. They tell me that they rush to get up in the morning to get the kids ready, then rush them off to school, then rush off to work, and rush through their day only to return home to rush to prepare dinner, clean the house and get the children ready for bed. They collapse, exhausted at the end of the day – only to repeat the same process – tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that…
Do you know how they feel? Perhaps you know exactly how they feel. If so, you’re the person I want to talk to today because I think that I can help you.
The one unifying characteristic among mothers (and women generally) is their capacity to give. They do so beautifully day after day, month after month, and year after year. That’s why they are so dearly loved. But all this giving places a heavy strain on each woman’s own emotional wellbeing. Many women I speak to feel ‘lost’ in others’ lives – always giving way to the needs of those they love and placing their own dreams, hopes and interests aside. And to reward our mothers and women in our lives what do we do? One day a year we give them breakfast in bed and flowers. I’m sure you’ll agree that this just isn’t enough.
To really appreciate all women and to help them sustain themselves through all these years of giving – imagine if we could have Mother’s Day not just once a year – but every week!
I believe that if we take this approach of valuing and appreciating ourselves as women, each month, it will really make a difference to how happy we are in our own lives – and therefore – how happily we give to those around us.
Let me explain…
In the 1990s, a famous, research-based university in America conducted an almost unheard of but very interesting research study aptly named the H.E.A.R.T. Study (Helping Every mother to Achieve Relaxation Time). Preliminary to this study, research was coming out showing that women were far more prone to the following sorts of conditions:
- Adrenal fatigue
- Thyroid dysfunction
- Autoimmune conditions
- Digestive disturbances
- Depression and anxiety
The experts linked these conditions to one common causality – STRESS… When women’s lives were examined, they found that the normal condition of many women was constant and unending stress – and this was making them sick – very sick. The researchers considered that much of their stress was related to the natural tendency of women to ‘give’ – to those around them.
So the H.E.A.R.T. Study wanted to examine ways that stress could be reduced in the lives of females, so they worked with about 3000 women over the course of a couple of years. Firstly, they identified the main areas of stress – which turned out to be: Finance, Relationships, Work, and Family Responsibilities. Then they studied what reduced stress in women, and this is what they found:
- Time for Self
- Time to Create
- Time to Connect
So the study asked a portion of these women to engage in these activities, while another group just led their normal lives. The group who took dedicated time in these three key areas each month, over the course of one year had the following beneficial outcomes (in comparison to the ‘control’ group who just led their normal lives):
- Better physical health – they weighed less on average, and lost more weight, on average, than the control group. They also had fewer cardiac events, stroke, and autoimmune conditions.
- Better emotional health – they used much less medication than the control group for conditions such as depression, and they self-reported better emotional states.
- Greater personal fulfilment – they reported more interest and enjoyment in life and a greater personal life balance. Their families also reported better moods and relationships with their mothers.
All this for just a few simple hours each month…
Would you like to have better physical health? Do you want to feel more emotionally stable and capable of coping with life? And do you want to feel more real joy in your life?
If so, how about we have Mother’s Day every week, just for you??? If you’re interested, this is what I propose you do:
- Set aside a sacred time each week – you only need one to two hours – for it to be exclusively ‘you’ time. This should be time when you’re not likely to be disturbed.
- Break the month into the three key areas of Self, Create, Connect and on Week One do an activity that revolves around Self; on Week Two – Create; and on Week Three – Connect.
- On the fourth week of the month, do one of the activities you loved during the month to really give yourself some ‘magic’.
- Then watch what happens (because everything may just change)…
Time for Self
This is time just for you to unwind, relax and kick back. Go shopping if that’s what relaxes you. Take a warm, relaxing bath. Head outside with a blanket and a pillow and lie under a tree and read. Take a snooze. Watch a ‘chick flick’. Write in your journal. Whatever you like to do that’s just for you – do it. This is your Time for Self.
Time to Create
Many women are naturally creative and find great pleasure in making things. So, set aside a couple of hours once a month to do something creative. Write poetry. Write a song. Paint a picture. Play a musical instrument. Do some decoupage. Scrapbook. Sketch. Bake a beautiful cake or a lovely meal in a relaxed way – if that’s what makes you feel creative. Feed your natural creativity during your Time to Create.
Women, generally speaking, are connectors. They love to engage friends – chatting, laughing, sharing, and listening. It’s important for you as a female to connect with other females and enjoy the feminine energy that comes from spending time with women you feel you can be yourself with. Take time each month to Connect.
How to make it work
I appreciate the many challenges that you face and the many competing priorities you have. But to make this program work, you need to do one thing first – Decide – that you’re going to make yourself as important as everyone else around you. Then Choose a day and time (it’s easier if you choose the same day and time every week so that it becomes automated in your life) that you’ll devote to Self/Create/Connect – every single week. Let those around you know what you’re going to do, why you’re going to do it, and what sort of support you’ll expect from them. I’m sure you’ll be surprised at the result. Then Prepare – find the resources that you’ll need (that good book you’ve been wanting to read, the cheap art canvas from the $2 store, etc). Then Commit – don’t let anything stop you. If an emergency occurs, be flexible, but don’t let minor distractions take you away from your plan.
Being a woman means that you are naturally attuned to ‘giving’ of yourself to others. This is wonderful and beautiful. But, when you give away so much of yourself, you become like a bucket that has been emptied through all your selfless acts. Then, you have nothing left to give to others, and this is when sickness, negative emotions and other problems surface.
By just taking one or two hours once a week (and let’s face it, we’re only talking about 25 – 50 hours in a whole year – and there are 8760 hours in a year!!) for Self, to Create, and to Connect, you will refill your ‘emotional bucket’ and be able to continue giving of yourself to others in a joyful way. You will be better for it – and so will the world…
If you’re struggling to cope with life because of stress and illness, please do come and see my team and me. We understand what you’re going through and have specific supplements, techniques and technology that can not only help you – they may make ‘all’ the difference to how you feel. Remember, we’re here to help because we care.
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